Monthly Letter: July 2011

If we were facing the imminent death of a loved one, and we could redeem their life, what price would we pay? Let us consider, if the ransom we forfeit could restore a happy productive life, what would we withhold? To most of us the answer is obvious, we would pay all we have; we would withhold nothing. Yet, at the smallest provocation, loved ones argue incessantly and willingly suffocate the tenderness in those that they love, simply to have their own way.

Being right is highly overrated. Of what value is a few extra dollars, or any amount of money, if our behavior results in alienating someone we love? What have we gained if our opinion of our self, or how we wish to appear to others, results in our extinguishing the life giving glow of tender loving kindness between our loved ones and us? If we would pay any price to hold on to the heart and mind of someone we love, why then would we sell it again it so cheaply? These questions are rhetorical and meant to cause us to reflect on what we value most in each other. When we respond quickly and harshly to someone, no matter the reason, it is a rejection of some of those things about them we hold most dear. We may consider losing our patience with someone we love, and hurting them to be of little importance, but this is simply our justifying our choices. Most of us will never have the opportunity to ransom a loved one but we will have an occasion to nourish all that we love about them. Such opportunities come in ways that seem small and relatively unimportant, but the mundane affairs of this world are where we live most of our lives.

Every waking moment we are faced with choices. When in our relationship with our loved ones we feel we had “no other choice,’” we have probably already made an inappropriate one. When we find our choices did not add to those things we love about others, we would do well to choose differently the next time. We are not condemned by our lack of perfection but neither are we justified by our lack of persistence. If we can see how what we love about another is precious, we may then resolve to preserve this treasure. Once we can gain a wholesome perspective, let us be determined to give it priority in all things. When we are tempted to react in old familiar ways, let us pause, slow down, and act purposefully. In this way we may begin to express our highest values in all things, and truly ransom the hearts and minds of our loved ones.

May God bless you that your hands may find to do the miracles for which your heart yearns. In this way may the Lord bless all of those He has commended in to your care.