Letter (3): October 2010
Don’t say proud when you mean proud.
To take a word out of context can severely change its intended meaning. The word proud can be used to describe self esteem or conceit. One could argue if pride is justified it is self esteem but when a sense of self worth has become excessive it is conceit. Nevertheless, the word alone without further discussion can confuse the observer. Let us take a closer look at pride and how we use it.
A sense of self worth is the result of an internal process; it is the way one thinks of him or herself. Self esteem is best taught both by instruction and example, with genuine role modeling being an essential part of the process. We often reason outside forces can enhance or diminish a person’s self esteem. However, a highly developed sense of self worth will withstand a lifetime of assaults, and be unaffected by external stresses. Vanity, on the other hand, is not what it appears to be. It is a counterfeit emotion; it is fear masquerading as confidence. However, vanity is short lived and must be reinforced constantly. A fully developed sense of self esteem needs no external reinforcement.
We often praise one another in order to arouse a heightened sense of self worth in the person we are complimenting. This is frequently a helpful awakening for those of us who become preoccupied with the business of life. We are then free to process the compliment to produce a greater sense of self worth or to reinforce conceit. Where we believe outside forces make one proud or one ashamed of themselves; we are addressing vanity rather than self esteem. External forces can awaken and even reinforce a sense of self worth only if that characteristic already exists within us. If there is an insufficient foundation of self esteem in any of us, there is a real danger of our unknowingly seeking to reinforce narcissism.
When we look outside of ourselves for things to be proud of we need to be very careful. Circumstances, the opinion of others cannot instill pride; again, it can only awaken it where it already exists. Likewise, the same circumstances cannot make us feel guilty if that sense of shame was not already earned by unproductive behavior. It is important to see ourselves as others see us but always to realize, they have a limited view of what they see. The casual observer often sees only the act but not the person. The value in seeing ourselves through the eyes of another person is to see how our activities are perceived. If we give this helpful process greater importance we are at risk of substituting one form of pride with another.
It is important we know who we are, and to use this to develop a sense of self esteem. Likewise, it is equally important to do all we can to awaken a helpful sense of pride in all of those we meet. However, when it is truly our goal to awaken the best in others, it becomes necessary to ultimately step back, and let them use this in the best way they know how to.
May your smile, your simple kindness awaken the best in those we meet this day.
Harvey served as a member of the boards of trustees for 12 years and Chairman of the Board for 3 years for the Association for Research and Enlightenment, the Edgar Cayce Foundation and Atlantic University. Rotated off the boards because of term limits.
A spiritual healer, Harvey has been a member and Secretary of Ohana O Kokua (Family of Helpers) for the past 30 years.
Harvey is a longtime member, trustee and chairman of the boards of the Association for Research and Enlightenment, the Edgar Cayce Foundation and Atlantic University. An international lecturer Green has lectured and conducted workshops on religion, mysticism, and the paranormal for the past 25 years. He has appeared as a guest on numerous radio shows and at several universities. His LIFE AND DEATH; THE PILGRIMAGE OF THE SOUL is a ground breaking work on immortality.
Harvey is a spiritual healer and Secretary of Ohana O Kokua (Family of Helpers), a spiritual healing group. His LETTERS TO HIS BELOVED has grown out of his 30 year work with spiritual healing.
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